06 June 2012

Life's Little Lessons

While dealing with the daily chores/meetings/projects (walking the dogs), I was pondering life's little blessings.  After 55 years wandering this globe, you tend to accumulate bits of information, some of which might actually be useful. This is something they don't teach you in school and I have picked up along the trail and I'd thought pass this along to you guys for free.  Some need no explanation. 

  1. Don't scrimp on toilet paper.    
  2. Never go cheap on dog poop bags. 
  3. You will pay for cheap Tequila later 
  4. Never pee on an electric fence. 
  5. Look for a proctologist with small hands. 
  6. Jalapenos burn twice. 
  7. A freshly bathed dog will find and roll in something dead in the yard 
  8. The amount of the vehicles involved in a freeway traffic jam is directly proportional to how late you are. 
  9. If you find a pair of shoes that fit, are comfortable, are stylish,and are on sale, buy 5 pairs. 
  10. The day after the warranty expires is the day it will break. 
  11. Today is the yesterday you will look back upon fondly tomorrow. 
  12. Duct Tape fixes everything.


Rock Chef said...

Wonderful nuggets of wisdom.

I second the one about cheap dog-poop bags! We have settled on using nappy sacks (small bags for putting used disposable nappies/daipers in), which are cheaper but more reliable than dog poop bags.

And yes, we have had items break within a couple of days of the guarantee running out too!

Abby said...

I wonder how many can read this without nodding their heads, although peeing on an electric fence never crossed my mind...

agg79 said...

Rock, believe me, I'm a tightwad at heart but I learned the hard way that cheap does not fit the bill in that area.

Abby, trust me, it is an experience you would never forget.

ShadowRun300 said...

Agg! Did you really pee on an electric fence??
I personally can vouch for the traffic jam quote, and the shoes quote. I have yet to find another pair of work shoes that are comfortable enough to stand 8 hours in, so I keep wearing the same worn out pair.
Anyway, thanks for the words of wisdom. We young pups sure appreciate it. ;)

Rock Chef said...

Me too - I have had poop bags fail at entirely the wrong moment :-(

meleah rebeccah said...

These are hilarious. My favorite one is "Jalapenos burn twice"- boy, aint that the truth!

terri said...

I like #11. Now if I could just still BE in today, but know how I'd feel about it tomorrow, I could appreciate my yesterdays today instead of only appreciating them tomorrow.

I think.

And the electric fence? Really? I DON'T want to know details on that one.