04 April 2013

Perspective

Please excuse my temporary absence from posting (like I am ever regular).  I really haven't been up to posting anything meaningful or funny.  I am just trolling around the net making comments on everyone else's blogs.  I'm it a bit of a funk right now and find it hard to find the right post.   

I would like to say we had a good Easter Weekend, but I really hate to lie.  Spending Easter Sunday in the Emergency Room tends to put a damper on the weekend.  First of all, let me say we are ok.  My father-in-law had a serious breathing problem and they took him into the ER early Sunday morning.  Spent most of the morning in the waiting room to see how this would turn out.  My FIL has really been going downhill lately.  Many other people have had issues with their parents and we are no different.  While my folks are still in good shape and traveling the countryside in their shiny aluminum trailer, my in-laws have been dealing with lots of issues.  Bad hips, pacemaker, COPD, blindness, Alzheimer's.  Thinks have not been easy.  My wife and her sister have been caring for her parents pretty much full time for the past few years.  It was only recently that they hired in some help for the heavy lifting and give them a break.  Still, dealing with your parent's failing health can wear a person down.  My wife's dad has been suffering from Alzheimer's for a while.  In life, you can get a lot of diseases, but I've decided that Alzheimer's can be one of the cruelest of all.  It is really sad to see someone who was very bright, very sharp slowly fade away.  David is not the same man I knew years ago.  Sharp, intelligent, a bit odd but with weird sense of humor.  All that is gone now.  

When you spend a lot of time in the waiting room on Sunday (they'd only let two people in at a time), you tend to ponder the meaning of life and stuff.  We are trying to be pragmatic in our outlook but, honestly, we were expecting bad news.  David has improved and they released him to hospice care today, but, in the back of my mind, I begin to think "how long?".  I realize that we all have an expiration date, but I cannot help but feel bad.  I want to help, but I cannot do anything for my wife or her sister aside of be there for them. 

I realize that everyone out there have been or are dealing with the same issues.  Our parents grow old, get ill, pass away.  The pragmatist in me says: "That's life".  The cynic in me asks: What the hell can we do?  The optimist tells me to Enjoy what we have.  

5 comments:

Rock Chef said...

It is hard to deal with and your finishing sentiments sum it up nicely. All you can do is be there and hope that things go as well as they can. I am starting to feel that one of the biggest problems that people have when they lose someone is the feeling that they did not do everything they could when they were needed most.

Don't fret about posting - we will still be here!

Abby said...

I can certainly relate. I almost don't want to answer the phone if it's one of my parents calling. And I know that helpless feeling. Wanting to do something - but what? I guess just being there. I'm sure it all makes a difference to your in-laws.

ShadowRun300 said...

I'm so sorry, Agg. You're right. A lot of us are going through this right now, and it's not easy. I'm lucky that my parents are still doing okay, but my hubby just lost his dad, and now his mom, who's had cancer, just got worse news. Her cancer has spread all over her abdomen, she's bleeding internally and there's nothing they can do.
Such a hard thing to go through - watching the ones you love suffer. I can understand your funk. Hang in there. We're all thinking of you, and when you're ready to blog again, we'll still be here.

terri said...

I'm so sorry for your father-in-law. The ER is not a fun way to spend your time, especially on a holiday.

I'm struggling with some of the same thoughts as you. As I watch my own parents and in-laws battle health problems, I feel myself sinking into my own funk. It doesn't seem fair that once a person can finally relax and enjoy life, life turns around and attacks them. It doesn't seem fair for my mom to be battling such serious health problems years before she expected to get old and frail. I think about people living longer than ever before... but minus the quality of life. Thoughts cross my mind, like not wanting to live to a ripe old age if it means I can't take care of myself and feel like a burden to my loved ones.

My prayers go out to all of you. I know there's nothing that can make this easier for any of you.

meleah rebeccah said...

"Please excuse my temporary absence from posting (like I am ever regular). I really haven't been up to posting anything meaningful or funny. I am just trolling around the net making comments on everyone else's blogs. I'm it a bit of a funk right now and find it hard to find the right post."

Um, yeah. I have been feeling that SAME EXACT way for about a month now. I've been rather depressed and when that happens I tend to withdraw from socializing. I don't like to bring down other people. I'd rather spread light & love!