Reset, Re-calibrate & Reboot

Test.  Test.  Test.  Is this thing on?    

Sorry guys.   I've been absent from the keyboard a while.  Kind of a self imposed hiatus from the blogosphere.  No real excuse although I seemed to have misplaced my muse.  Things have taken a different turn down here and I have been distracted from posting anything or even keeping up with everyone.  

To paraphrase something Terri said earlier, I like to think that we are working towards a new normal.  With SIL's passing back in August, life has taken some different turns.  We are slowly settling her estate and wading through the morass of legal paperwork/probate/estate planning.  Trying to close out someone's life is not something we were trained to do.  

Momma is holding up well.  Everyone is concerned with her but she is handling the situation without needing much of my help.  I am more of a moral support, providing the back and legs to whatever needs to be done.  Clearing out the storage room, going through all of the files, fixing the sprinkler system, taking supplies to the food pantry, feeding the cats (poop scooping as well), etc.  Just another day in the hood.  We are slowly closing out things at her house.  There's no real rush on our part (or, at least I am not rushing momma).  The house is only 20 minutes away so it is easy for us to go over and take care of things.  We still have way too many cats (IMHO) but we have been able to offload one to a friend.  We are looking at other options to reduce the horde, but still keeping our promise to SIL to find good homes for all of them (no shelters) - going against the advice of some "friends".  In the meantime, they continue to live in the high life in the cat house.  They ain't suffering too much (unless it's when I leave the TV tuned into the Walking Dead Marathon).           


At work, things have taken on a whole new level of intense.  We merged with another bigger company in October and, as with any merger, things are changing.  New name, new priorities, new overlords.  I have been out traveling a bit on supplier audits with a road trip to Wisconsin and California and it looks like I am going to do a bunch more next year. We were supposed to go over to France a few weeks back right about the time all of the crap went down.  We actually had people in the air to Paris on Friday when everything fell apart.  The company made the decision to cancel the meeting and send everyone home and do the conference via skype.  Things have settled down a bit but my horoscope has a road trip to France in my future for next year.

At home, we've been busy as well.  I have been able to make most of the home football games at A&M in the trailer with the dogs.  Not overly impressed with the team's performance, but at least we had a decent time camping.  

I also have been doing more doggy stuff over the past few months.  Claire & Grayson are doing well, although Claire is slowing down a bit.  Honestly, I am worried about her - her back end is weak and she doesn't have the stamina for long walks.  Have taken her to the vet for testing but, at her age (12/13), there is not really much that they can do.  We did pick up a guest for Thanksgiving week while  my brother was off shore on a cruise.  Parents/brothers did a Caribbean cruise (I passed) and I offered to take care of his fur baby.  A 7 year old Border Collie called Dot.  A very cute, intelligent and intense dog.  At first I was worried that she would not get along with my two, but they were best buddies by the second day.  Since Dot is a trained sheep dog, it was funny to watch her try to herd Grayson when they were out running.  Cute dog.  By the end of the week, momma wanted to keep her.     

Cute?  Me?

Her favorite hangout

I also wound up doing a foster run the same weekend I picked up Dot.  Got a call to meet a woman down in El Campo (1.5 hours south) to pick up a OTI (owner turn in) dog that was to be fostered by our group.  Duke was an absolutely gorgeous 18 month old Golden that was full of energy.  The woman was turning him in because her job had her travelling 5 days a week and she was moving to a place were there weren't any good options to take care of the dog.  She had the dog since it was a puppy and just wasn't able to be home enough to take care of him, so she did the right thing and chose to give him up to a family that would give him the love and attention he deserved.  One of the harder OTIs I've done.  She was heartbroken to let him go.  I only had him for the short drive back to Houston, but had decided that, if we didn't already have Dot to take care of, I would have taken him home.  I just read on our website that Duke has already found a furever home with a good family and another Golden buddy.  That's one of the reasons I stick with this foster group - the benefits far outweigh the costs.         

Say hello to Duke

I am trying to get back into the swing of things, but no promises.  One step at a time.  First order of business is to go catch up on everyone's blogs and that may take me a while.  

Closing things out

The last few weeks have been quite full/melancholy.  I am not sure if it good or bad with being busy, but it has kept us from dwelling on her passing.  I am most saddened for my wife.  She has been holding up well, but this has been a very long and sad journey for her over the past few years.  First her dad fell ill several years ago and passed away 2 years ago after a long battle with Alzheimer's.  Earlier this year, we lost her mom due to the same illness.  Finally her sister passed recently.  She has a lot on her plate of late and I am trying to take some of the burden off of her shoulders.  We are in a kind of void right now - sort of grief/guilty phase.  Sad to have lost her sister at this age, but glad she is no longer suffering.  Will take a while for things to right themselves again.  

In the interim, we've been working on multiple fronts to take care of things for Julie.  Arranging a memorial service, working with the funeral home, drafting up an obituary, posting updated on Facebook.  Momma and I argued about the FB posting but I felt we needed to do it so that her friends would know and could post their comments.  A few were surprised with the news since Julie did not really want her condition and prognosis shared with many.  While I am not a big FB fan, a few friends were starting to mention about missing her and I felt it was our responsibility to post something in her honor.  The obituary took a bit of editing before we posted it but it finally hit the paper before Labor Day.  I wanted to write more about her career and love of cats but when we got the price for the simple obit, we were a wee bit floored.  The cost of a simple obit was running almost $6.00 per word, hyphen, comma and period.  And that's per day.  I read some of the obits in today's paper that are running 4-5 columns and cannot help but think that run somebody close to $3,000.  I told my wife that, when I go, all she needed to put in the paper is "Agg Died".  I am not sure how Julie would feel about paying this much money for a short synopsis of her life but I felt that we owed it to her.  And her friends really appreciated it.  

We did arrange for a memorial service right after Labor Day.  She did not want people to interrupt their plans/vacations and since Julie wasn't very religious, we chose a Methodist church next to the Medical Center where a number of her friends/coworkers could attend.  Very nice service, reception, a much larger turnout than we had expected.  I had spent the week prior combing through pictures at her house and what I had taken over the years to craft a slide show of her over the years.  I even stole a few pictures from friends that had posted to Facebook in her memory.  I got the idea from a previous memorial service and people really seemed to enjoy it.  A few shots from the slide show:
       

We are spending time over at her house going through the records, sorting things out, making calls, feeding the cats (anybody want one?), emptying litter boxes.  Julie had a love for animals in her life and she was passionate about her cats.  My wife came from a cat family but I have slowly brought her over to the dark side and the world of dogs.  Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against cats, but I am just not really a cat person anymore.  I am not sure how well my two furbabies would take to a feline guest.  While I feel fairly sure that Claire, old softy she is, wouldn't have too many issues with a cat (heck, she loves anybody), Grayson kinda has a personality that doesn't mix well with felines.  He's had a few close calls with neighborhood cats but I have kept him on a tight leash whenever one is around.  In my opinion, if he ever did try to go MMA with the local calico yard cat, my money's on the cat.  I'll regale you with my cat history later.  

On many of the walks I had with Julie, one of her concerns was with her cats.  What would happen to them, who would take care of them.  We had a solution in one of her friends volunteered to take all of them, but that friend died unexpectedly last year from brain cancer.  I told Julie that, because of the dogs, I could not commit to taking the cats, but I did promise her that we would do everything humanly possible to find them good homes.  They were not going to be neglected or turned over the the shelter and we would work the back channels to find homes for all of them.  Initially, she wanted to turn them over to the Animal Life-Care Center up at A&M that takes care of pets when their owners pass away.   Sort of a pet sanctuary.  Beautiful state of the art facility with the best care.  The problem is that they were very, very pricey.  A quick estimate of how much it would run for her cats came out to be more than the cost of her house.  So, in the meanwhile, the cats have the run of the house while we work on finding homes/servants for them.  

I wound up giving her Camry to my son.  I have been taking care of it for a while so I know it is in good shape and a good replacement for our old '93 he currently drives in Austin.  Ice cold A/C, new battery & tires, a working radio, and only 77k miles.   The car even came with Lojack but I don't think Julie ever activated it.  The only problem is that we cannot find the title so I am going to have to work through the state to have a new one printed and then have it transferred over to him.  Actually, I will have it transferred to me and then I will transfer it to him.  Turns out that in Texas, you can transfer a title to a family member (aka bother in law) for only $45 and save on paying the taxes on the sale.  Unfortunately, junior being her nephew does not fall in that category, so we will have to juggle the title a bit to make it work. 

Progress is slow, but we are moving forward.  

Saying goodbye

I wish I had some good news but I am saddened to pass along the news of SIL's passing.  Julie passed away peacefully Saturday afternoon at MD Anderson with friends and family by her side.  

She has been struggling with her cancer for the past two years with various degrees of success but, ultimately the cancer spread and took her light.  She went into the hospital two weeks ago in a good deal of pain and nausea.  They tried to stem the pain and give her some comfort, but the cancer had spread to the point it that not much could be done.  The past few days were hard on everyone.  She had been slowly declining since the weekend and things did not look promising.  Along with my wife and I, several of Julie’s friends took turns staying with her at the hospital so she had someone with her.  Our son drove down Friday afternoon to see her as well.  We went up to the hospital Saturday to sit with her and her friend, not really sure how much time she had.  She passed away quietly around 3:00 pm with my wife by her side.       

This has been long in coming.  Julie was nephrologist (kidney doctor) and knew the score.  Ever since she was diagnosed 2+ years ago, she was pessimistic about her chances but chose to fight it regardless.  Despite all of the obstacles thrown her way, she kept fighting it.  Several months back, she and her oncologist decided the chemo wasn't doing anything but making her sick and stopped the treatments.  Afterwards, she seemed resigned to her fate.  My wife stayed with her throughout the entire process.  Staying at home with her, the multiple trips to the hospital/ER, taking care of her treatments.  She set aside a lot of things to be at her sister's side, providing some comfort.  I'll have to admit, it wasn't easy, I am not sure I would have had the stamina to do it.  

To provide some minor respite, we tried to get her out of the house for a day just to break the routine, even if for a short while.  She loved spending Saturday afternoons over at my brother's garage (GRAJ).  Between talking on cars, family, dogs and eating something from the grill, it was something that enabled all of us to forget about life for a while.   My wife would bring her over to our house every other day as another break.  Julie loved walking the dogs with me when I got home, even if it was 98 degrees outside.  She looked forward to it, it gave her some relief from the pain, and the dogs certainly didn't object.    We spend a lot of time discussing her status while walking the dogs.  We covered a lot of topics, ideas, questions.  I broached the subject of her final wishes.  With her mother's passing earlier this year, she decided to be cremated but did not want to be buried back at the family plot in Arkansas.  Instead, she wanted to remain with us, although, we haven't determined where we will wind up.  I told her that I wanted to be cremated as well but, in lieu of a burial, I wanted my ashes spread over Kyle Field.  Fat chances of that happening - something about some sort of regulations against that.  I was not trying to be morbid on these discussions and she felt some relief to unload on me as it was hard to discuss these issues with my wife.  We also talked/debated about a memorial service.  She did not really want one because she didn't want to burden everyone and didn't want people to feel sorry for her but  I kinda convinced her that her family and friends might want to have one, if for anything to remember and honor her life - sort of a sense of closure for everyone.  We have yet to figure out any details (still too painful to consider), but we have debated using the local church near the medical center.  That way a lot of her coworkers and friends could attend.

Right now, things are moving slowly.  Understandably, momma is exhausted.  I am taking off this week to help settle her affairs, play chauffeur, clean out litter boxes and serve as a general roustabout.   

The long goodbye

I haven't posted much about my SIL lately.  Honestly, guys, it wasn't because I didn't care or want to share, but, the news just really hasn't been good.  SIL has been fighting the good fight and struggling against her cancer but the journey hasn't been easy. 

Julie went under the knife almost 2 years ago and it has been a struggle ever since.  A lot of infections, much pain, many trips back to the hospital.  

This past weekend we did our weekend trip across town to my brother's garage.  Sort of a break from the routine/rut but I think that Julie felt she needed one more last time with the family.  My son and his wife were down for the weekend and got to spend some time with her.  It was a good time but Julie was in a lot of pain and really not feeling well.  I think it was because she felt this was the last time she would be at the GRAJ.  We kept an eye on her and kept asking if she wanted to leave early.  We did finally pull out early and, on the way home, she and my wife decided that she needed to go to the hospital to try and see if they can do something about the pain.  She checked in late Saturday night and they diagnosed her with pancreatitis.  They were able to deal with it somewhat but she is in a lot of pain and is very tired.  They moved her to palliative hospice care to try and dial in her pain meds and she has been there all week.  My wife has been up there most days and I have been going up in the afternoons to sit with her and give her a little company.  She is struggling and discouraged and ready to go.  Her doctor friends have been by several times and have talked with us on the side and have been pretty honest with their thoughts/opinions.  Her chances of getting any better are pretty nil.  The cancer has metastasized into her lungs and has made it hard for her to breath.  We are headed up to the hospital now to sit with her and talk about what she wants to do.  Julie just turned 62 two weeks ago and the past two years have been very hard her and my wife.  We are preparing for the inevitable but I know this will devastate my wife.  I know that Julie has thanked me for being there this week but I feel really helpless.  All I can do is be there for her and her sister.  It is no longer a matter of if, but a matter of when.  Everyone asks if they can do anything but it is really in the Lord's hands right now.  

Tails from the road

Points to Shadowrun.  I figured she might know where I was a few weeks back.  After all, I was kinda in the neighborhood (if not across the state).  I had a business conference in Chicago for a few days at the end of June.  I'll admit I've been to Chicago many times but usually it is either passing through or visiting plants on the west side of Chicago.  I have never been downtown so I took the opportunity to check out the local flora and fauna.  I got in a couple of nice long runs along Lake Shore Drive, found an amazing pizza place (Blaze Pizza) that makes your pie in 3 minutes, hiked across downtown to visit some of the tourist sites, took the "L" train back to the airport.  Pretty good conference, a nice break from the daily headaches at the office.  One more city off my bucket list.       

Chicago Skyline

Navy Pier

Cloud Gate

Water wall

Two guesses where what TV show this fountain is featured in

Some really good pizza

Last weekend I took an extended trip up to New Braunfels (south of Austin) with my brother and his family to spend some time tubing on the Guadalupe River.  It's sort of a summer tradition down here in Texas.  Take a scorching day and go spend it floating down the river on inner tubes with a few hundred other people trying not to get fried.  Momma and SIL were not able to go so I took the furry kids instead.  First time they've been to the river.  For two old hot dogs (who don't swim), it was an interesting weekend.  Hot, wet, & overfed but I think they made out just fine.  

We even squeezed in a side trip to a local dog park that just opened up.  

  

Hiatus

A gap or interruption in time, or continuity; a break.

A period of time when something (such as an activity or program) is stopped.  

A breach, break, discontinuity, gulf, gap, hole, interstice, interval, opening, rent, rift, separation, void.  

I am sorry guys.  I wandered off the reservation for a while.  I had plans to post up weekly but just found myself distracted/busy/off line.  I sorta took a break from the net for a spell.  Things have been going down here that have kept me away from the keyboard.  I haven't even been following everyone's blogs for a while.  Sorry.

But, despite my worries, life goes on.  Been busy over the past few weeks.  Family, dogs, travel, anniversaries, all have kept me sorta busy.

I won't bore you with a long saga, just a few highlights over the past few weeks.  I hope to fill you in with the details in the next few posts (I promise not to take so long):

Anyone guesses where I was?

Pizza nirvana

Milestone for the old folks

And, of course, it is time for our annual trek to the dog show...

Claire working the crowd

Grayson feeling neglected 

Claire looking for love 

      

Row, row, row your boat

Contrary to what you might have heard in the news, we ain't floated away down here, but we have had a wee bit of rain over the weekend.  

Things have been pretty soggy down here lately.  

And getting to work has been a challenge....

A ton of rain over the weekend, lots of localized flooding, lots flooded cars and there's more rain on the way next week.  It's not the apocalypse that has been presented on the national news, but it has been a real mess.  We've avoided some of the flooding although over at SIL's house, things got a bit dicey for a while.  

I actually had an adventure over the weekend that I was going to share but the weather seem to take center stage.  Needless to say, the weekend was "interesting".  Story/pictures to follow...
  

Exterminaaaate!

A long life, a bittersweet farewell

Sorry for the lack of posts.  I've been sick, hurt my neck, and generally haven't had anything interesting or meaningful to post (good or bad).  

My wife's mom passed away on Saturday.  Not exactly how we had intended to spend Valentine's day but life moves forward despite our calendars.

Anne had been in an assisted living home since last year.  Several years ago, my wife and her sister decided that they would take care of their parents at home for as long as they could.  Both David and Anne had been suffering from various ailments over the years - Alzheimer's, hip replacements, pacemakers, dementia, blindness all of which limited their mobility and activities.  David was in and out of the hospital the last few years with infections and illnesses.  At one point over Easter weekend when we were at the hospital, I honestly thought he wasn't going to survive the night but I was wrong.  David passed away two years ago in hospice care.  

Before her cancer surgery last year, both SIL and my wife decided that they could not take care of her during SIL's recovery and it was time to consider assisted living.  That was a hard decision for them to make and took a lot of heated debate.  Lots of unsolicited advice and opinions were offered by the rest of the family but ultimately it was their call and I respected their choice.

For the past year, Anne has been doing well in the home.  She was well cared for and had been stable for a long while.  Friday afternoon she started having problems breathing and the hospice nurse called us and said she was going downhill.  My wife and SIL went up to the home Friday to spend the evening with her.  She wasn't fully conscious but she seemed to recognize them being there.  They left late in the evening and were planning to go back up on Saturday when the nurse called and said she had passed peacefully.   

Given her age (91) and ailments, we had expected this day would come.  Given that, we were still not fully prepared.  The suddenness of her passing is what caught us off guard.  We felt that we would be sitting with her for at least the weekend or longer.  My wife was torn up from not being there when she passed.  We spent the afternoon with her saying our final good-byes.  My son and his wife were on their way down from Austin but did not make it in time.  We did spend the weekend with them remembering Anne and all of the good times/stories.  

Now comes the post plans.  People keep asking me what we are going to do.  Both Anne and David are from Arkansas.  All of their family is up there and they have a family plot.  When David passed two years ago, we had him cremated and have kept his ashes at home on the idea that, when Anne passes, we would take them back home to be buried with the family.  That is where we are at now.  The problem is SIL is too ill to travel.  She can barely tolerate a trip across town much less a trip across the state.  And flying is completely out of the question.  On top of that, my wife is taking full time car of her sister (still taking chemo), so she is not sure she can go for an extended trip.  We are not sure what we will do at this stage, but we are working out tentative plans for a trip north.

I know a lot of you guys have dealt with this exact same situation and I admire how you handled it on your end.  Grieving comes hard for me.  I know in my mind and heart that this is inevitable, but, when it happens I am still never prepared.  

No good deed goes unpunished

I'm still wrapping things up from the holiday.  This past week was a bit a stretch for some - after the long holidays and week off, it was hard to get back into a rhythm.  Reports and projects that were postponed prior to the holidays have returned with a vengeance.  We are already working at deadlines and projects due by the end of the month.      

At least at home I am making some progress in returning things to a quasi normal state.  I took the Xmas lights down after returning from the New Year's rally.  In the old days, we would typically leave them up until the Super Bowl, but that was when it was in January.  I started dismantling the tree and packing it up in the attic.  This year I broke with tradition and change the lighting scheme.  Our company was encouraging everyone to decorate in purple (designated color for Epilepsy Awareness) so I bought several purple led strings.  Made for an interesting display - purple is a bit darker than the typical white bulbs and most of my pictures did not come out well.  I am spending the day packing the ornaments and decorations away while watching the playoffs.

Yesterday, I went to turn in recycling.  The city had a hazardous recycling day where you can recycle things like electronics, batteries, chemicals, paint, etc..  Things that are not normally in the recycling chain and you don't want to throw in the trash.  I've done two of these before and they were well run.  Yesterday was not.  I drove by the drop off initially and the line of cars was down the block and not moving.  Ran off to do some errands and came back and the line was longer.  I didn't have much (got rid of a lot our electronics last summer) - just a couple of cans of paint and some batteries so I decided to try it anyway.  I sat in line for a good 20 minutes before I decided (like a few others) to park and just carry it over to the drop off only to be rudely told "no walk ups" and we had to drive through in our cars.  There were several other who has the same idea only to be turned away.  More than a few simply said screw it and left.  I decided to do my bit for queen & country and stick it out.  I understand that the people were working hard and it was a miserable day (rain, cold) and they were overwhelmed by the number of vehicles, but 1.5 hours to turn in some cans of paint and batteries?  I did the right thing for the environment but many people were unhappy with the total chaos and lack of communication.   

At least I did do one good deed over the holidays.  While out at the New Year's rally, I had to run into town to get some supplies to make wassail.  Went to the small town grocery store in Bellville - Brookshire Brothers.  Got my supplies and had checked out and decided to buy a lottery ticket on a lark.  While waiting at the counter, a young woman and her daughter came up aside of me.  A typical harried young mother with highly energetic and bubbly daughter.  Since the woman looked like she had her hands full, I waved her on in front of me.  For a brief moment, I started to regret my chivalry when I saw she was cashing her paycheck and had to go through all sorts of confirmation and authentication, but I figured I had time and she didn't.  Took a some time for the cashier to verify her id and count out the bills - had to be a decent check since I saw several 50s and a few 100s cross the counter.  She wrapped everything up and collected her daughter to pick up a few things in the store and turned away.  As I stepped up to the counter I noticed a nice crisp, clean brand new $100 bill still on the counter.  Took me a nanosecond to recognize it and where it came from.  I picked it up and turned to go find the mother.  Fortunately, they hadn't gotten far and I was able to hand it back to her.  I can tell she was a bit embarrassed and thanked me profusely.  When I stepped back to the window, the elderly gentlemen behind me gave me a thumbs up and nodded in approval.  I said that it was the right thing to do.  It may be the boy scout in me but I couldn't live with myself if I hadn't done that.     

Playing catch up

Slowly working our way back from the holidays break.  We had a good Christmas and fairly sedate New Year's.  Spent time with family, friends.  Ate too much, spend a bit more than we had planned, watched several movies and tv marathons, generally slacked off.  

A lot of different shows on this year.  I recall from a few years ago that one channel ran a James Bond Marathon on for New Year's week.  This year the BBC channel ran a Doctor Who Marathon.  Dang it.  And I had things I meant to do... 

I did manage to get back out to the annual New Year's rally with our Airstream club.  This is at a rural campground about an hour west of town.   We drove out in the pouring rain, my brother got his rig stuck (had to pull him out with my truck), the weather was wet and dreary for most of the week.  Not sure if it was because the holiday fell in the middle of the week or because of the weather but the number of attendees this year was pretty light.  My folks did not go because they are still recuperating from their wreck and have no tow vehicle.  We are not sure of their long term plans.  I spent part of the holidays with my dad and I got the general feeling that his wreck may be the writing on the wall for them.  I kinda got the general impression that they are questioning the possibility of hanging it up.  Maybe a few more local runs/rallies but they are definitely not doing any more long term road trips.  Some of their friends in the club have already retired and many of them were younger than my folks.  We'll have to see what the year brings.  

A few shots from the rally.  At least the dogs enjoyed getting out to the house for a while. It was fun and the heater worked well this year (yea!).  It wasn't as challenging or exciting as camping out in the back yard in a tent in the snow/freezing weather.