Dog gone

Sorry guys. I didn't mean to get maudlin here but I am trying to work through some of the issues I am having with Shadow's death. If this gets too depressing, please forgive me and move on to lighter venues.

Shadow was not doing well this past weekend and was having a very difficult time breathing (short of breath). The wife took him to the vet Monday on the hopes they could give him some more meds to improve his condition but, when we went to pick him up, the vet let us know that there was not much more he could do for Shadow. He was on oxygen for most of the afternoon and, while is condition improved slightly, he was still having a problem breathing. He was having heart problems (not getting enough oxygen) and seemed to be getting worse. After much debate and some torn emotions, we chose to put him to sleep instead of have him suffer much longer. I feel it was the most difficult decision we have ever had to make. It was very hard to sit there with him and watch him go, but the vet basically said he was suffering and he could only prolong his life, but not improve it. We had considered moving him to the emergency clinic to keep him on oxygen, but were uncertain if he would even survive the trip. We wanted to keep him alive until my son got home from college (Wednesday) but realized that was only for our benefit, not his. Eventually, my wife and I came to the conclusion to let him go, but it was not without regret. Still very difficult to talk about it and, while it is getting better, we miss him sorely. I was finally able to get a hold of my son Tuesday night and told him the news. I couldn't quite bring myself to call him Monday night but I did not want him to head home without knowing. He took it very well. I think we had forewarned him this was coming and he knew that his time was limited. I also feel that, with him away at school in Austin, the distance made it easier for him to accept. Since we were with Shadow every day, it has been hardest on us. This has been long in coming and I honestly felt I was mentally prepared and could take his departure well, but that hasn't proven so. I've delt with a lot of crap in my life and had always felt I could handle this kind of loss, but this has hit me harder than I ever imagined. We lost an exceptional friend/family member that has left a hole in my heart.

The vet was exceptional in his care for Shadow. He did everything he could, but, in the end, he could not make him better. We basically signed off on his procedure to put him to sleep and elected to have him cremated. We will get his ashes back next week and may bury him in the back yard or spread them in the local park where he loved to run free. Not sure of those plans yet, but there is no rush.

We appreciate everyone's thoughts & condolences...